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25 Signs that you are too drunk
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- You lose arguments with inanimate objects
- You have to hold on to the lawn to
keep from falling off the earth
- Job is interfering with your drinking
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in
your alcohol stream
- Career won't progress beyond being
a senator from Massachusetts
- The back of your head keeps getting
hit by the toilet seat
- Sincerely you believe alcohol to be
the elusive fifth food group
- 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case
- a coincidence? I think not!!
- Two hands and just one mouth - now
that's a drinking problem.
- You can focus better with one eye closed
- The parking lot seems to have moved
while you were in the bar
- You fall off the floor
- Your twin sons are named Barley and
Hops
- Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories
as a burger - screw dinner.
- Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking
you
- At
AA meeting you begin meeting with "Hi, my name
is... uh..."
- Your idea of cutting back is less salt
- You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear
is in the bathroom and you fell asleep fully clothed
- The whole bar says "Hi" when
you come in
- Every night you're beginning to find
your roommate's cat more attractive
- Roseanne looks good
- Don't recognize wife unless seen through
bottom of a glass
- Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake
their heads when they walk past you
- You wake up in Korea in August and
the last thing you remember is Fourth of July party
at the Halekulani in Waikiki
- The
shrubbery is drunk too, from frequent watering.
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