Due to increasing product liability litigation, the American Alcohol Association has accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to see double and think single.